jacob bae for ‘j.’
highbreed entertainment
To those who follow K-pop group The Boyz, Jacob Bae has long been a gentle, steadying presence. In my part of the world, we would call him paavam. It’s a term that lends itself to an overall sympathy and warm affection. They’re so innocent, so paavam. They’ve gone through so much, paavam them. How humble, how gentle. And Jacob Bae, unofficial ‘mother’ of The Boyz, is nothing if not paavam.
Born and raised in Canada before moving to Seoul to enter the K-pop system, Bae debuted with the then-12 member group under Cre.ker Entertainment in 2017. Over the years, through grueling survival shows, multiple domestic No. 1s and label lawsuits, he established himself as the group’s reliable vocal foundation.
Yet, behind the bright spotlight and polished choreography lay an internal landscape marked by self-doubt.
When we speak in early July, it has been several months since a judge ruled in The Boyz’ favour on a lawsuit against their label One Hundred for unpaid wages and improper management. It was a rare victory in an industry that rarely sides with the artist in pursuits of emancipation.
So when Bae released his debut mini-album j, the tangible reality of putting his name on something fully his own, of being the first in the group to do so, and all sans label machinery, struck him immediately.
“I feel like my shoulders got really light,” Bae says softly, reflecting on his release day. “I was just very grateful that I could even come out with an album like this.”
jacob bae for ‘j.’
highbreed entertainment
The seven-track mini-album explores the trajectory of a relationship, although Bae did not start out intending for that to be the theme.
“Off The Record” captures being at a bar with someone you like, being secretive about what the two of you share. The darker tracks, like “Misunderstood” and “Young And Confused,” dig straight into his personal struggles.
“When it comes to myself, I tend to have low self-esteem,” Bae shares candidly, a rare admission for an active idol. “I have low self-confidence. I thought of how it has affected my relationships with family, with friends. They’re always like, hey, how come you don’t share your feelings, how come you’re so — do you not trust me?” That mismatch in understanding, stemming from the fact that he does not tend to share much as a person, is where “Misunderstood” came from.
Much of that emotional guard was built during his early years in the Korean music industry. Arriving in Seoul as a teenager, he was immediately thrust into a cutthroat environment where hyper-competition was the baseline.
“When we’re trainees, we try to train and train and practice to be the best, so I feel like that was always a big burden. Not just me, but most idols who are trainees — they have to be the best among their peers to survive. And I think that’s a mentality that sticks with you even after you debut, because there are so many competitors,” he begins.
“I was one of the members that got injured a lot. And especially when you’re rookies, you tend not to share it. You just keep it to yourself and perform through the injuries.”
Fellow group member Hwall had to leave the group in 2019 following an injury-related hiatus.
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – JANUARY 23: Boy band The Boyz performs on stage during the 8th Gaon Chart K-Pop Awards on January 23, 2019 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images)
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There was no set schedule or rhythms to help the body run on biological cycles, Bae continues. “For most K-pop idols, it’s like, today I can sleep from 1 AM to 4 AM, and tomorrow I can sleep only from 4 AM to 8 AM. That was not easy.”
The admission is not a very sensational one; it’s not difficult to infer that the incredible production value, complex choreography and frequent performances would require inhuman amounts of practice hours and commitment.
Time and time again idols have either collapsed on stage (Jungkook, N, Krystal, Hyuna, SinB, Seolhyun, Shuhua, I.N., the list goes on) or had to pull out of commitments because of exhaustion, exacerbated injury or mental health struggles (this is an even longer list). This extends to any artist undergoing the K-pop model of training, with KATSEYE’s recently hiatus-ed leader Sophia Laforteza being one example.
The danger lies in treating voracious fan appetites for this level of output as divorced from what it takes for these idols to get there.
That psychological pressure also manifested physically for Bae. Beyond the grueling rehearsal schedules where he recalls times he felt like “a 40-year-old in a 20-year-old body”, the extreme fixation on physical appearance took a heavy, hidden toll.
“It might be a bit different now, but back then there was no knowledge on losing weight. It was just, don’t eat,” he says.
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – FEBRUARY 20: Jacob, a member of the boy group THE BOYZ, during their 8th mini album ‘BE AWAKE’ Release Showcase at YES 24 Live Hall on February 20, 2023 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by The Chosunilbo JNS/Imazins via Getty Images)
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“I’m sure most people know companies will ask their idols to step on a scale to check their weight,” Bae says softly.
As a trainee, company weigh-ins were frequent and rigid. “Weight fluctuates so much,” he points out. “If you drink water, the weight fluctuates, but it doesn’t mean you gained weight. For [the ones in charge], it was just the number that was important, not the actual facts.”
At the time, lacking information about nutrition, there were days he would not drink water for hours before a weigh-in.
“Back then I was like, oh, music video shoot tomorrow. I’m hungry, but I’m not going to eat.”
Bae was under Cre.ker Entertainment during his trainee days. The company was then absorbed into IST Entertainment, who have not responded to requests for comment at the time of publication.
Eventually, the severe restriction spiralled into a hidden struggle with binge eating. “I tried to keep it a secret because me eating thousands of calories in one sitting — the members would have been, ‘whoa, what’s wrong?’ But I would go to the convenience store and eat the worst food I can, and promise myself not to eat anything the next day.”
K-pop schedules are punishing on the mind as well as the body, but the restrictive nature of the machine has meant that very few have publicly talked about the toll it takes on them. There is a fear — compounded by legions of online comments looking to pounce on the slightest imperfection — of being perceived as arrogant or ungrateful for the glamorous life they have, indeed, one that many would do (and are doing) anything to reach.
For Bae, the turn towards healing came when he started studying nutrition and the science of how weight actually works. But more than the science, shifting his perspective on his relationship with his fans brought a sense of calm.
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – FEBRUARY 13: (L-R) Kevin Moon, Jacob Bae, Son Young-jae and Lee Juyeon of The Boyz attend a basketball game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Detroit Pistons at Crypto.com Arena on February 13, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images)
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“I know that my fans, if I gain a little weight, they like that Jacob. If I lose a little weight, they like that Jacob. I don’t have the perfect body, they don’t mind. So the whole time it was a me thing just bringing me down,” he says.
“I hope all the young trainees or growing adults in the industry are eating well.”
Today, Bae views his craft through a far healthier lens. He advocates for structural changes in the industry, such as providing professional care to protect young artists.
“At any point, we’re professionals, right? If you see a professional basketball player or any sports player, they have nutritionists, they have professional people just to help care for you. We’re almost as physically active as them.
“If we’re professionals, we should also have a system where there are professional caretakers like nutritionists, maybe physiotherapists, to take care of the body, to prevent injuries. I feel like that’s still not in the industry.”
Instead of dwelling on past strain, Bae approaches his career with a sense of liberation.
“Now, not just me — all of our members — we’ve come to a point where it’s like, no, I think we proved that we’re good at what we do. We have so many past videos that we can look back on and be like, yeah, we were the best back then at what we were doing,” says Bae, paavam as ever.
“It’s become a lot less burdened and more just… joy while performing, knowing that now we’re just performing for the fans that are there with us, that are there for us.”
Looking ahead, his vision for the future remains rooted in music and connection, within his group and without. He’s going on tour and continuing to share his heart. He wants The Boyz to be healthy, happy and be around for a long time.
“I just really want to release a lot of music. The things I’m not good at talking about — just share it through songs, and hopefully it gives comfort to people that listen to it.”
This conversation with The Boyz’ Jacob Bae included discussion about disordered eating. If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Visit this website for access to helplines and resources today.
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